Getting to and around Beijing has been surprisingly easy. I'm here 3 days before my official trip starts, to hang out and explore with just one other friend (my travel buddy for the next 6 weeks). Friends at home dropped us off at the airport, then many hours later (after a mere 12-hr flight), someone picked us up on the Beijing end too, and brought us straight to our hostel. Although we've since experience the incredibly nice and user-friendly subway.

We're staying at a cool little youth hostel, right behind a bunch of fancy hotels, which are at least 15x the price. The Vegas-style strip (very classy, though, not at all sketchy) nearby is kind of weird in its excessive Westernness.

Friends from school took us out the first night to a very cool veggie restaurant. So nice to hang out with locals. We've managed to get by so far with extremely limited Mandarin and gestures, but there's nothing like a native speaker to help you out.

Yesterday we checked out the Olympic site, which is absolutely amazing in real life. I sort of got the willies about being on the field of the Bird's Nest, imagining all the excitement... Strangely we've been able to get the student rate about the half the time; I think you're really only supposed to get it with a Chinese student card.

The best part about the Olympics was perhaps our lunch. We've been having less than stellar results finding veggie food on the street (although we've sort of been able to communicate "wo chi su de," literally "I eat vegetables"), so lunch yesterday was Cheetos and popcorn, and today at the Summer Palace it was granola bars we bought and crackers.

Sadly last night I almost fell asleep at a cool underground place called Mao, with a band Buyi that looked really rock, but sounded much more mellow.

Highlights of today, apart from the Summer Palace itself, include seeing a curling match on a huge screen on the edge of the lake. Normally I'm highly opposed to such technological infiltration of an historic site, but I'll make an exception here.

Afterwards at the Temple of Heaven, a group playing a variation of hacky-sack with 4 feathers on the end of a set of tambourine bell-thingies, instead of the hacky-sack, roped us in to play. Super fun, and very cool that it was fun for all ages. The whole park was full of people gathering for these creative activities -- operas that everyone knew the words to; karaoke; and other musical things. And on the way out we passed by a playground, but more like an outdoor gym for grown-ups -- everyone was stretching and doing exercises on things that otherwise looked like they were for kids.

I'm still super tired, so I think I'll head to bed even though it's barely after 9. I'm sort of concerned about my energy level during the trip...


From afar,
Emma

Best transition ever

What an amazing day! Lots of crazy news to share, just before I head out.  

It was absolutely gorgeous this morning, so took advantage of my last few breaths of fresh air before many polluted cities. I'm finally able to run again! I also used this as an excuse to procrastinate from studying.  

I took my last final ever tonight! Incredibly depressing to have to study and perform engineering the day before I leave. Hey - I never got my St. Patty's Guinness either!

About halfway through my final, I get a call on my phone - which is only on (vibrate) since I use it as a clock. Since I see it's one of my interviewers, I eventually decide to get up and return the call. And I got a job offer!  

Amazingly I calmed down to (reluctantly) finish my final, which I was very tempted to turn in half-finished. 

To top it all off, I come home to a very lovely celebrating my roommates put together for me! Super touching, including several incredibly thoughtful gifts. Plus champagne. I will definitely miss it here. 

Ok, gots to finish packing.  

Bon voyage!

-Emma

Last class ever!

Man, take away just a bit of accountability (i.e. my project is formally done), and I start missing my post commitments right away. So apologies that it's already Saturday. 

Yesterday I took my last class ever! Definitely bittersweet. It was one of my favourite classes (the one I built our little energy efficient house for), with my favourite prof. I had fun presenting some cool results of our project -- I think I like teaching more than I realise, even though I don't know if I'm any good. Our TAs put on amazing variety show, including this stellar music video.  

I did a couple rounds through school to say goodbye to whomever was around. Many were a little shocked that I was done done, and were convinced that I'd still be around. I gave pretty vague answers of where on earth I'd be in a few months. 

This reminded me of how I've been a bit nervous to stick around in the area. I think it relates to how I've mentally prepared myself to go far, far away, and not stay here as is somewhat the norm. 

I hear back next week from one of the jobs I interviewed with, so I'll know fairly soon what my fate is. 

A friend gave me some great advice related to this last night. If I truly am anxious about getting stuck here, give myself a deadline -- this job is only for X [probably 3] years, and then I leave for where I really want to be. And build in a safety valve, i.e. I'll stay only if I find [this amazingly awesome job/partner/lifestyle/whatever]. 

Another really cool opportunity I'm checking out is to be a d.school fellow. Considering how much effort I've put in the application even over the past couple days, when I certainly have lots of other things I could be doing, I know I'm super excited about it. Even though my chances are maybe 1 in 40. 

In other news, I passed my indpendent study! My advisor apparently liked reading through my progress. 

I head off for my travels next week, so this may turn into a travelogue. And I certainly won't be posting all that frequently. 

Have a fantastic weekend,

Emma

The Happiness Booth succeeds

I'm ending my 9 weeks of self-exploration with an attempt to pass along what I've learned, in an experiential way. I originally thought I'd end with some sort of grandiose motivational talk, but this didn't feel true to my discoveries. Instead, I wanted to reinforce in others the tiny but crucial actions and mindsets that have helped me "build my emotional platform."

My final project was held at my graduation party at my house, so my guests didn't actually know what they were participating in. 

I gave everyone a prompt on an index card, to help them start a conversation with someone else at the party. I asked things like "What made you laugh this week?" Or "What memory from your childhood do you most want to pass on to the next generation?" Or "What do you love about your community?" Guests were instructed to find a partner, discuss their questions, then switch cards and partners. Repeat. 

I also added a special "action" card, which encouraged participants set a goal for a week (similar to my weekly experiments), and post them on the wall. The hope was that public commitment would encourage follow-through. I only got a few goals this way: 

The Happiness Booth was the final element. I sectioned off a corner of my foyer with 2 sarongs and a lamp: 

Inside was a bowl full of questions, and a box to submit your answer in. The questions were: 

• What will you do tonight to be happier?
  
• What will you do tonight to make someone else happier?
• What will you do next week to be happier?
• What will you do next week to make someone else happier?

The responses were heartwarming -- everything from "visit a friend who had a rough week for dinner tonight" to "stargaze, shoegaze," to "bake muffins." Plus a couple R-rated ones I won't reproduce here! 

I have no idea whether these people will actually follow through on these commitments. (That would be something I'd try for the next time -- how to actually track results. Speaking of which, if you did make a commitment, please let me know what happened!) 

But I did get some reassuring feedback. Two friends said they felt happier just because they went into the Happiness Booth, and I heard others say they appreciated the ice breakers and talking about happy subjects. If that's all I get out of this, that's perfectly fine by me!

Now that I've done the formal part of the endeavour, now what? I leave for my travels next week, so maybe I'll morph this into a travelogue. I'd definitely like to keep this and all the other tools I've developed over the past couple months, since I know I'll need them again. 

I bumped into a classmate from last year the other day, who talked about how she's now the happiest she's ever been. She looked to a friend who always seemed to be happy, and aimed to be just like her. That's great motivation for me too -- to keep in mind a guiding light for me to aspire to. And if I can ever be that to someone else, all the better.  

This friend reminded me that it's also perfectly fine to fall out of happiness every once in awhile, so I shouldn't worry about the ups and downs. At least now I have the tools to get back into a good emotional state quickly. 

Thanks so much for those who've followed my journey! I hope to keep this up even if slightly less formally. 

I hope you find your guiding light (wow, I sound so corny now!),

Emma

X-acto serenity

Maybe I didn't need a break after all. Maybe I just needed to get to work. 

I'd been pretty stressed over the past week with huge projects and impending departure. I've been exhausted, anxious, and sad. It's not that I was procrastinating on doing stuff -- I felt like I was running around and busy all the time without making progress. 

But this morning I woke up calm and relieved, despite relatively little sleep. I think it was the x-acto blade that cured me. 

Yesterday I spend all day in the d.school, and probably about 6 hours of that cutting out little shapes. I worked on my prototype for our Savings Circle project, and built most of our energy efficient home model. 

I cranked through til the late evening, missing a hockey game I meant to go to and deciding not to do my last problem set ever. I think both were the right call.   

While the whole affair was tedious and incredibly time-consuming, and we're still not totally done, I felt amazingly refreshed and energized. I even started and finished my taxes when I got home!

Today I'm now excited instead of dreading my graduation party. (The nap I just got up from helped, too.) Speaking of which, I need to go get ready. 

I'll let you know how my final project goes too...

Rejuvinated,

Emma

Break Time

I am quite grateful for my friends tonight who facilitated a much-needed distraction. I've been feeling the stress recently of final projects looming, plus trip planning, paying taxes, and all this other junk that I need to finish before I leave. So despite having tons to do, I went climbing earlier this evening with two friends, and then joined in a spontaneous and surprisingly elaborate dinner afterwards. 

Normally, climbing or dinner with friends are more than enough to make me forget about whatever's bugging me. But it took me until I got home tonight to actually feel relaxed. I wonder if it's because I didn't leave time in the beginning of those activities to let go. Maybe it's not just the activity itself that matters, but the mental transition to that activity that helps clear the mind? Or I could just be too exhausted to be able to appreciate my fun time? 

One friend at dinner reinforced the concept of small actions that lead to happiness. His subtley was that those actions (e.g. "What 3 things made me happy today?") are effective, as long as they're not a chore. Maybe I've been looking at fun activities as an obligation? 

Blogging thus far has been great for keeping me accountable, but I admit it's a lot of pressure I put on myself to write something profound twice a week. I haven't recently been able to use it as a tool for exploration. And ironically, I've developed a bit of stress about designing my final project for this class. I have some ideas, but am a bit concerned about the execution. 

On that note, I'm going to presume my current (albeit brief) malaise is from being way too tired.

Time to take a break, and off to bed!

-Emma

P.S. Lest you be concerned that I'm falling too much back into a pit of anxiety again, I did have a great week -- started yoga again (hip hurts way less!), hung out with good friends, cooked some good meals, and am mostly enjoying the rain.

What gets measured gets done

Last night my group made huge progress on our progress for our d.school class. We've been working on ways to encourage people to save even a little bit of money. Last week, we gave our 4 users really simple prototypes -- envelopes and a notebook to help them track their spending. We were amazed that they all showed up for our second meeting, with envelopes and notebooks in hand. And our prototypes worked!  

Our users' stories were pretty compelling. When he wrote down his spending, one man saw how much he spent on phone service, so he switched to a less expensive plan. A young woman managed to save a little bit, even though last week she laughed at the possibility of saving at all.  

My performance was not so stellar. I was $37 over my budget based on a fictional after-tax income of $20k/year. ("Income" is sort of meaningless for me since mine is a large negative number.) But I did notice that I was especially frugal this week, knowing that I was on a tight budget, and fearing writing down frivolous expenses. I also realised that my current rent would not exactly be sustainable on such an income. 

I share this story both because it was uplifting, but also because it reminds me how busy and exhausted I've been this past week (working on this and other projects). I've taken very little time for myself; I haven't been sleeping much; I haven't been doing anything creative; I've been eating crappy food and not exercising. I think I need to do a better job of measuring even just a part of these things. But I've been doing that (somewhat consistently) on my google spreadsheet... so where's the disconnect?

Maybe it's the accountability component. Our users seemed pretty invested in our process because we created a group -- a community. I've been pretty bad recently about making and then following through with commitments to take time for myself. I'm still posting here regularly, but things like creative morning activity have followed by the wayside. 

So, time to get back on the saddle. I really liked starting my day with something creative. So the my first 15 min of the day I'll devote to something for myself. Like reading, drawing, or meditation. I know I've tried this before, but I think these things take constant maintenance. 

Since I'm already exhausted, I need to gets me to bed soon so I can have an early and refreshing start tomorrow!

-Emma